a Dating plan consists of three main sections:
- Before the date
- During the date
- After the date
Before your date
- Review or create your check boxes
- Review or write out your known red flags and deal breakers
- Prepare a list of chats and chat topics for the specific date and commit it to memory
- Check your safety arrangements
During your date
- Work through the important things on your check boxes (the things you want)
- Use banter to probe for red flags
- Focus on your gut and how you feel but keep track of your truth and what feels true to you
- Rather chat about the same thing again if you feel unsure about anything.
Data mode during a date
If a deal breaker happens and it is confirmed, switch over to data mode.
(Example: You want children, non negotiable and they do not want children, non negotiable – this would be an example of a deal breaker)
–> Decide if the date is someone you could be friends with or whom you would see again as a friend.
If you already know that you have not found your soul mate then think whether you have a friend that is available and would be a better match than you?
If you do have a friend that may be a better match, maybe offer to make an introduction?
After your date
Write yourself some notes and comments about the date.
The longer you wait the less detail you may remember so do this as soon as possible (ASAP).
Having written notes helps you to know what you still may need to discover or chat about in future, it also helps you focus on detail and empowers you to think.
You can also add additional comments to yourself and assist you to check your boxes and red flags.