The ugly truth about trust

If you get more trust from another person it means that their walls (towards you) are lower. When people have lower walls It is easier for you to connect with that person. It is easier to form new connections (because there is more trust in you).

Many dating advice sites will tell you that trust is earned and should not just be given. Some dating advice articles even provide you with tools and methods to manage your trust and how you give trust. But the ugly truth about trust is hardly ever spoken of.

If you are attractive you receive more initial trust.

Good looking, attractive people instantly receive more trust from others.

You give hot people more initial trust than you would to non hot people. We all do exactly the same thing. If your attraction is older grey haired people, you will give an average Gen Z (born: 1997-2012) far less initial “free” trust than you would give to an average Gen X (born: 1965 -1980). Similarly if you consider Gen Z as HOT, then the average Gen X will automagically get less initial trust.

In general generalization is always challenging, but in the case of the ugly truth about trust, I would venture that more than two thirds of us do give more initial trust to hotness.

Initial physical attraction is also a plus on the amount of free initial trust we give others. If you are physically attracted to someone you just give them more initial trust.

Of course this does not mean that you will not trust ugly people, or people you do not consider as attractive, but rather that less attractive people have to work a bit harder to squeeze for every bit of trust.

Any RED FLAGS reduces the amount of trust given to you.

Lets say you consider yourself a 5 (FIVE) and you consider that the person you are going to meet for the first time is an 8 (EIGHT) Here are a few TOP tips for you to increase the initial amount of free trust you may be given by the EIGHT:


  • Make sure you are neat, tidy, clean and that you smell great! Smell is often overlooked, but a great smell can easily raise you from a FIVE to a SIX!

  • Make sure that you look your best self, in all aspects.

  • Make sure that you are dressed to the 9’s!

  • Smile! – Smiles are under rated, just by smiling you can easily add half a point to your hotness scale!

  • Be a winner! Walk like a winner, act like a winner. Your confidence could also add half a point to your overall first impression hotness


To read more about the basics of dating (or dating basics) please start with how to date