How first impressions work

One thing that we all have in common is that we judge.

We judge people because it helps us to identify patterns. These patterns help us to understand other people in relation to ourselves and our own frame of reference.

When you meet any person for the first time you generate a series of first impressions (judgements) about the other person.

How we judge, and what factors we use in order to judge other people, varies widely. For example: If you meet person X and person X is tall, and you like tall people, your overall first impression will be better (or higher) than for someone who is shorter. If height is not relevant to you, then meeting a tall person will not affect your first impression much at all.

First impressions greatly depend on what people consider important. If the person you are meeting likes well dressed and well groomed people, and it is important for you to create a good first impression, you should groom and dress well.

Your Type

All people have a preferred type of person. Type is a combination of physical attributes, body type and even initial energy or vibe. Your type may be tall and skinny with a friendly vibe or energy. (Or completely something else…)

During initial judgement, or “first impressions” you rate the other person on how closely they match your “type” (what you believe your requirements to be).

Remember that the other person will also rate and judge you, based on what they believe they want or need.

How To Create a Good First Impression

Before you actually meet the person IRL, you should collect as much information as possible about what the other person wants.

Collect Information

Before meeting IRL, you can collect information by using flirty banter, just chatting or by simply asking directly. (Ask the other person in a chat or text: “Is height important to you?”)

You need to collect as much information as possible in order to prepare for the best first impression. You do not need to understand whether the other person likes bad breath or not. (Everyone, including you, dislikes bad or rotten breath) So, you should avoid asking dumb questions, unless you are part of a special group of people that specifically likes rotten breath, of course.

Generally all people dislike bad breath, dirty finger nails, poor hygiene and bad self care stuff. So you can safely skip all of these and ensure that you are clean when you meet other people.

If the person you are thinking about meeting does not like very tall people at all and you are a very tall person (9ft and 800 pounds), then you should be open and honest with the other person. Tell them that you are 9 feet tall and weigh 800 pounds. If they are not interested in meeting you, it is what it is, accept it and move on.  You will eventually meet someone that likes extremely tall people.

Understanding or acting on the information you collected

Understand yourself and what you are able to physically provide, and what not. If you are physically very short and the other person absolutely only likes very tall people, your overall first impression will be negatively affected. No matter what you do or try to do, as you do not meet the other persons body type requirements.

Unfortunately many times where physical appearance is extremely important, there is simply not much you could do to improve your first impression score. The good news is that there are many other things that could absolutely increase your first impression score. For example: If you have an amazing sense of humor and immediately cause hysterical laughter this could potentially dwarf any negative physical shortcoming!

Always be totally open and honest with all other people about your physical appearance. Just as much as you would not like to be cat-fished, someone else will not like it either.

Always try to improve your first appearance scores by not only meeting, but also exceeding, the expectations of the other person.

Regarding your own first impression judgements, try to be more open minded. Try to identify your own prejudice and try to be more tolerant of first impression red flags. Sometimes something negative is not as bad as your first impression judgement. Sometimes you could actually accept or move past the initial issue.

The article First Impressions appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.

Many dating advice sites will tell you that trust is earned and should not just be given. Some dating advice articles even provide you with tools and methods to manage your trust and how you give trust. But the ugly truth about trust is hardly ever spoken of.

If you are attractive you receive more initial trust.

Good looking, attractive people instantly receive more trust from others.

You give hot people more initial trust than you would to non hot people. We all do exactly the same thing. If your attraction is older grey haired people, you will give an average Gen Z (born: 1997-2012) far less initial “free” trust than you would give to an average Gen X (born: 1965 -1980). Similarly if you consider Gen Z as HOT, then the average Gen X will automagically get less initial trust.

In general generalization is always challenging, but in the case of the ugly truth about trust, I would venture that more than two thirds of us do give more initial trust to hotness.

Initial physical attraction is also a plus on the amount of free initial trust we give others. If you are physically attracted to someone you just give them more initial trust.

Of course this does not mean that you will not trust ugly people, or people you do not consider as attractive, but rather that less attractive people have to work a bit harder to squeeze for every bit of trust.

Any RED FLAGS reduces the amount of trust given to you.

Lets say you consider yourself a 5 (FIVE) and you consider that the person you are going to meet for the first time is an 8 (EIGHT) Here are a few TOP tips for you to increase the initial amount of free trust you may be given by the EIGHT:

• Make sure you are neat, tidy, clean and that you smell great! Smell is often overlooked, but a great smell can easily raise you from a FIVE to a SIX!

• Make sure that you look your best self, in all aspects.

• Make sure that you are dressed to the 9’s!

• Smile! – Smiles are under rated, just by smiling you can easily add half a point to your hotness scale!

• Be a winner! Walk like a winner, act like a winner. Your confidence could also add half a point to your overall first impression hotness

To read more about the basics of dating (or dating basics) please start with how to date

The article The ugly truth about trust appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.

Online and In Real Life safety is a very wide and ranging subject. Both are very important though and one should not be promoted over the other as they go hand in hand.

There is an entire section with posts just about  Dating Safety and Security  and we keep adding new content to it regularly!

2. Geography and location

Hooking up IRL means that the practical issue of actual physical location becomes somewhat important. Of course if you are only going to hookup virtually, then location does not matter at all, good Internet connectivity does!

3. Avoid controversial conversation topics

The usual three suspects are Religion, Politics and Money. things like who earns the most money, salary discussions and other controversial things should rather be avoided!

4. Have fresh breath

Knowing that you have fresh breath also boosts your own confidence as much as it is great for your potential hookup date!

5. Smell nice

Smell is not just about your breath! Use your own favorite scent, you know what you like and your chosen smell also tells others who you are.

6. Be clean

Your clothes and the clothes under your clothes should be clean and fresh. If you wear socks and shoes, check that they are clean!

7. Prepare and strategize your flirty banter

Always update your list of flirty banter! No matter if you are Gen X, Millennial, Boomer or anything in between! – Checkout our Flirty Banter Section for ideas, topics and latest trends!

8. Have good personal hygiene

Nothing stuck in your teeth? Body all washed? Nails sorted? Hair the way you want it?

9. Timing matters

Hookup dating means that opportunities needs to be timed and this needs to be handled in chat as part of the dating plan

10. Be direct, honest and respectful (specially of consent)

Are you sure that everyone is on the same page? Double and triple checked?

The article Ten most important things when dating for hookups appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.