How first impressions work

One thing that we all have in common is that we judge.

We judge people because it helps us to identify patterns. These patterns help us to understand other people in relation to ourselves and our own frame of reference.

When you meet any person for the first time you generate a series of first impressions (judgements) about the other person.

How we judge, and what factors we use in order to judge other people, varies widely. For example: If you meet person X and person X is tall, and you like tall people, your overall first impression will be better (or higher) than for someone who is shorter. If height is not relevant to you, then meeting a tall person will not affect your first impression much at all.

First impressions greatly depend on what people consider important. If the person you are meeting likes well dressed and well groomed people, and it is important for you to create a good first impression, you should groom and dress well.

Your Type

All people have a preferred type of person. Type is a combination of physical attributes, body type and even initial energy or vibe. Your type may be tall and skinny with a friendly vibe or energy. (Or completely something else…)

During initial judgement, or “first impressions” you rate the other person on how closely they match your “type” (what you believe your requirements to be).

Remember that the other person will also rate and judge you, based on what they believe they want or need.

How To Create a Good First Impression

Before you actually meet the person IRL, you should collect as much information as possible about what the other person wants.

Collect Information

Before meeting IRL, you can collect information by using flirty banter, just chatting or by simply asking directly. (Ask the other person in a chat or text: “Is height important to you?”)

You need to collect as much information as possible in order to prepare for the best first impression. You do not need to understand whether the other person likes bad breath or not. (Everyone, including you, dislikes bad or rotten breath) So, you should avoid asking dumb questions, unless you are part of a special group of people that specifically likes rotten breath, of course.

Generally all people dislike bad breath, dirty finger nails, poor hygiene and bad self care stuff. So you can safely skip all of these and ensure that you are clean when you meet other people.

If the person you are thinking about meeting does not like very tall people at all and you are a very tall person (9ft and 800 pounds), then you should be open and honest with the other person. Tell them that you are 9 feet tall and weigh 800 pounds. If they are not interested in meeting you, it is what it is, accept it and move on.  You will eventually meet someone that likes extremely tall people.

Understanding or acting on the information you collected

Understand yourself and what you are able to physically provide, and what not. If you are physically very short and the other person absolutely only likes very tall people, your overall first impression will be negatively affected. No matter what you do or try to do, as you do not meet the other persons body type requirements.

Unfortunately many times where physical appearance is extremely important, there is simply not much you could do to improve your first impression score. The good news is that there are many other things that could absolutely increase your first impression score. For example: If you have an amazing sense of humor and immediately cause hysterical laughter this could potentially dwarf any negative physical shortcoming!

Always be totally open and honest with all other people about your physical appearance. Just as much as you would not like to be cat-fished, someone else will not like it either.

Always try to improve your first appearance scores by not only meeting, but also exceeding, the expectations of the other person.

Regarding your own first impression judgements, try to be more open minded. Try to identify your own prejudice and try to be more tolerant of first impression red flags. Sometimes something negative is not as bad as your first impression judgement. Sometimes you could actually accept or move past the initial issue.

The article First Impressions appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.

The main use and goal of flirty banter is to have fun. At the same time it also reveals things about you and you also learn about the other person. Reactions to whatever you say gives you instant feedback about the VIBE and the level of the VIBE, this helps you to make your own decisions. Flirty banter is a form of information gathering as much as it is the giving of information and joy!

Pick up lines could also be flirty, some are overused. Common examples are “is it hot in here? or is it only you”

Reaction to something flirty, like a smile, laughter or a quick comeback gives you instant feedback about the other person. As a bonus, you also get a direction for your next bit of banter. For a great positive vibe type feedback (if you are quite keen yourself), then the path is open to level up to step into the vibe. For lukewarm or more negative type responses, you either have to step up your game or think about stepping out.

When thinking about flirty banter always think about fun. Think about easy, light and generic.

Four top tips for getting your flirty banter on

Look at the other person. Which physical characteristic immediately stands out to you? For example if it is a nose: You could say something simple and easy like: “Wow, you have such a nice nose” (or any version of that). Complimenting the other person is always a safe bet, more so if the compliment it is also actually the truth. If you are in an online chat and you do not even know if you are being cat fished, you could react to the other persons name and compliment that. There is always an easy and true compliment to give.

Prepare in advance: Being flirty and building on the vibe may always hit a dead spot, so have a few backup banters saved up in advance! (You can make flirty banter part of your dating plan?)

Confidence: Confidence is always picked up on and has a multiplier effect on effective banter

Be yourself, be happy and do you!

The article Flirty Banter appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.

The ICK and ick basically means anything (or something) that turns you off or kills the vibe.

Ick’s have different levels. If an ick is also a yuck, like a wet booger half out of a nostril, onion skins on feet and other gross bodily issues, it may be a deal breaker. Some ick’s are personality type ick’s, for example narcissism. Other ick’s are environmental, body, clothes and hygiene related. It could even extend to friends and material items and things like cars, homes and bathrooms!

an Ick is not always logical and many things that may be an ick to one person is something a different person may actually like. Examples of not so logical ick’s are when someone thinks the color green is an ick. Examples of more common and semi logical ick’s are “bad breath” or stinky feet.

An Ick is not always a dealbreaker, but it could be, depending on how serious the ick is. Sometimes if the other person knows about it in advance, it could be preventable!

It is always useful if people going on a date or agreeing on meeting in real life, could first communicate about which generic things turns them off.

An example of a preventable ick would be: If you knew in advance that baseballs caps are disgusting to me, you could simply avoid wearing any baseball caps.

An Ick could trigger a red flag, but if it is a deal breaker it is actually game over as a yucky ick cannot easily be recovered from. Recovering from a temporary yucky ick is possible though, if the other person is hot enough or if the vibe is strong enough to overcome the temporary yucky ick. More permanent yucky ick’s are almost impossible to overcome.

The article The Ick appeared first on Dating Online and Meet IRL.